Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Pile Of Fecal Matter
I have a five-year-old son. He loves to watch movies; kind of like his old man. Some time ago we saw the trailer for Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium and thought that it might be a cool movie for the spawn. Oh, how wrong I was. I can’t stress this enough; for the love of all that is holy, for the betterment of all humanity, for the love of Christ, do not, I mean DO NOT go see this flick. The effort it takes to glance up at a poster pimping this horrible film while strolling along the sidewalk in front of the movie theater is a colossal waste of time and effort. Your time would be better spent walking across a multi-lane freeway dodging cars going 80 miles per hour to pick up a penny.
What the hell was Dustin Hoffman and Natalie Portman thinking? Did they share the same crack pipe when deciding to take part in this debacle? I can’t explain it. Word to Dustin and Natalie: Dustin, retire, go away. Take it to heart that you’ve left us with some wonderful films and fine examples of your acting ability. But after this ... Oy, find a niche that suits you at this juncture in your life, but don’t ever, ever, ever stoop this low again. Natalie, ah, Natalie, Natalie, Natalie. Being the babe you are and the fact that you are still young, I’ll forgive you for this ridiculous lack of taste and judgment. Move on, forget it ever happened, wipe the mud from your face, straighten your self out and move on with the forever quest of your life being to redeem yourself.
That’s all.
